054 - Thoughts.
By Melody Tan - 6/17/2014 11:57:00 AM
I've been worried and stressed out a lot lately, so bad that it's been taking a toll on my mental and physical health. There are a few main things I'm worried about - my future, my relationship and my physical health. Have not been the healthiest of late since I was on meds last week. The double dosage of antibiotics caused me nausea, drowsiness and other side effects like being sensitive to sunlight. The drowsiness was so bad that I felt like sleeping at every time of the day. I went to bed by 10:30pm at night but woke up late at 8:30am, I even took naps halfway through work at the bar last weekend, I rarely take naps nor sleep early. Another major issue would be that I feel so tired I don't have the motivation to go to the gym anymore. I have also lost my appetite due to the meds after taste lingering at the back of my mouth.
Now that I've completed my med rounds, I hope I feel better, less drowsy and I want to have my appetite back! It felt really horrible to be on a regular med routine plus it didn't help that the med caused me bad nausea if I ate it on an empty stomach.
My mind's been a little tired lately because I have been thinking too much. Just thinking and worrying about a few issues a day can bring down so much of my energy level. Also, I've been doubling up as a part time designer/marketer for 26 Tapas Bar so you can say I'm doing marketing 24/7 the entire week! I have to admit that I do enjoy doing graphic design for the bar and I love to see how I can stretch out my creative limits but sometimes, it really does take a toll on me. I felt the desperate need for rest, having fun, lazing around and not thinking about anything else. Sometimes, going home after work to just NOT do anything can be of such luxury to me.
It seems like I can never be satisfied somehow. And the grass ALWAYS seems to be greener on the other side. When you're busy, you wish you had loads of spare time. But when you're free, you suddenly feel like you want to be busy and that being free makes you inefficient!
Recently, I've also been thinking about what exactly I want in my life. It seems like someone has just handed me an array of options to make me think about what I really want.. I know what I've always wanted but the problem is....there's always a fear of instability and insecurity acting as a barrier between me and my dreams. Sometimes, the dream can be just dangling in front of me, waiting for me to grab hold of that opportunity. However, I start thinking of the probable situtations that may arise and snap, I take a step back again.
"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."
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